Archive for motivation

2004

Posted in life, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on April 25, 2009 by infantboner

2004 was the best year of my life. number 12’s album “put on your rosey red glasses” came out and changed my life, and taste in music permanently. also i had the best vacation possible with my best friend julia in california. graduated high school. got away with anything and everything, also, i started college and living on my own in the arts tower. the first semester of the first year of college was the best. im not ashamed to mention i didnt even hook up with anyone in my first apartment ever. but i had a fucking blast with tons of awesome friends and was capable, and more importantly, LOVED being a total loner with my cat. i got beetlejuice on september 11th 2004. lol. 

5 years later, a lot has changed. chaaaaaaaaaange. change is fucking right barack obama, even tho i refused to vote for you. i could have never expected it to be this extreme. the only constant in my life left is my cat. i hope i didnt just jinx that. fuck. 
hot topic moved to a new location after 10 years there, and 6 years being employed, my best (and only) friend moved away, my other best friend became the biggest scumbag imaginable and is now an enemy, my gf of 2.5 years stole from me and my parents and is also now an enemy. succubus, i’ve pretty much stopped smoking pot, i have no savings, i finally have a tattoo, i live back at home with my parents and cant even consider moving out for about another year, im not, and dont want to go back to school, not all of those are negative, but i could argue pros and cons for all of them if i needed. thats what i do.
bottom line: im totally alone and it fuckin sucks. i need to re-develop the ability to be alone for massive amounts of time without it bothering me, while at the same time being productive. marijuana is a motivation murderer so ruling that out helped, but im still totally unmotivated to do any of the massive amounts of work i should want to complete. plus its gorgeous out and i’d love to have friends to go enjoy nice weather with but i dont. awesome. this is why i go to philly every opportunity possible. theres a group of people who enjoy going out and having fun. instead of just 1 or 2 around here. and i suck at making plans. also, in an effort to develop savings, i try to not go out often and just waste time here in my sticker covered box i call a bedroom. once i get into my room on this laptop, its hard to get me out. thank god i bought this laptop as a “merry xmas, happy new year, congratulations your single” present. idk wtf i’d be doing right now without this thing.
one of the reasons i made this blog- so i feel like im being remotely productive, and venting my angst at the same time. the easiest way to pass time for me is to keep watching the same hysterical movies i love. its free and wastes a lot of time. like right now. im watching walk hard: the dewey cox story. 
entertain me in rockland and ill be your best friend. seriously. 
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