the addams family

Posted in life with tags , , on July 24, 2009 by infantboner

is love. when i was a little kid, 4, 5 years old, i would wake up early and go downstairs in the pitch black at 4 or 5 am and eat sprinkles raw and watch the black & white episodes of the addams family by myself. then the movies came out, and they were awesome. the other day at target i saw they were selling both addams family & addams family values on 1 dvd for $10. MINE. i watched them both back to back as soon as i got home, and the next day, and the next day, and so on. and right now im watching the 1st one, and eventually the 2nd.

ive found my ideal wife: wednesday addams. i loved her as a child, she was always my favorite, and now that i re-watch these movies an adult, i can come to the conclusion that i need a girlfriend who wears all black and hates smiling with a very morbid sense of humor. aka wednesday addams. idk wtf i was thinking ever dating such a colorful rainbow-brite bitch. whatevz.

reasons why wednesday addams is the coolest female of all time:

at the end of addams family values when her “boyfriend” asks her “what would you do if you found a man who would devote every waking hour to your happiness. be your personal slave?” she responds with “…i’d pity him” very sternly. WIN. another awesome wednesday addams quote is when her and pugsly are playing on the electric chair, and she asks pugsley to play a game, he asks what game? and she responds with “its called…is there a God?” FUCKED UP. why did my parents let me watch this as a child? so morbid and borderline inappropriate! guess we all know why i love horror movies, music from hell, and wear all black. oh yea, blood and guts too. specifically because of the scene where they sword fight on stage, and blood squirts EVERYWHERE. quentin tarantino style. i specifically only remember that scene from when i was younger. the other humor and plotlines confused me and i couldnt follow. but the blood scene stayed in my head since age whatever.

YES  im so glad i just found this on youtube. amazing. it has every single awesome wednesday addams scene compiled into one 7 minute video, along with some randomly out of place disney clips?? i dont get it.

WATCH THIS AND LOVE LIFE

….are they dead? …does it matter?

oh yea also, i  bought the entire black & white tv series on dvd for $50 on amazon. watched 3 episodes so far out of about 100. obsessed much? yes. the show isnt as good as the movies, but still amazing. the sounds & music in the show are my favorite. but i cant stand studio audiences.

i honestly only want to have a child to name her wednesday. wednesday addams arturi. WAA.

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aaaaand im high

Posted in life on July 21, 2009 by infantboner
Vodpod videos no longer available.

why am i (and all my good friends) obsessed with this south park quote? its all of our away messages, i say it in and out of context constantly throughout every day, aaaaand its fun. ive been being a huge stoner lately. it all stemmed from my best friend kreyg’s 2 week visit back home. we had so much fun and partied like we used to: all day, every day. since he left i haven’t been able to re-kick my habit. oh well. i forget pretty much everything that happened, and is happening. and just watch funny stuff on tv. :::takes bonghit while watching bongwater::: even tho i still sit around find myself watching the same movies and episodes of shows over and over (bongwater, dazed & confused, party down), i still manage to discover new things

example: THE STATE is an amazingly hysterical mtv sketch comedy show from 1992-1994 consisting of an amazing cast of characters who are popular today but somehow disappeared for the decade between this show and the shows and movies they are on currently in (reno 911, party down, wet hot american summer). grace mentioned it to me, and then i saw a commercial advertising the release on dvd in mid july. i immediately bought it but have only made it through the first one and a half discs so far. here are 2 of my favorite scenes ive seen, loved, and found online, so far.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

awesome comedians popular now, doing hysterical stuff in 1993. way ahead of its time, amazingly well-done and perfectly timed humor. im loving it.

more to come later

testicles

Posted in life on May 1, 2009 by infantboner

so i had off from work yesterday and today. so i smoked a bunch of pot. bad idea. i feel miserable, depressed, sad, and cant stop thinking about awful things. paranoid voices in my head are making time go by slower. when did i grow up so much? fml. im done with pot unless its social. i knew this already, but now i know for sure. i have no recollection of what happened during the almost 2 weeks i was sober, but i did before i smoked. going to be 23 in august. weird. need to work on savings so i can move out. this place drives me crazy. rockland is not the place for my future.

2004

Posted in life, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on April 25, 2009 by infantboner

2004 was the best year of my life. number 12’s album “put on your rosey red glasses” came out and changed my life, and taste in music permanently. also i had the best vacation possible with my best friend julia in california. graduated high school. got away with anything and everything, also, i started college and living on my own in the arts tower. the first semester of the first year of college was the best. im not ashamed to mention i didnt even hook up with anyone in my first apartment ever. but i had a fucking blast with tons of awesome friends and was capable, and more importantly, LOVED being a total loner with my cat. i got beetlejuice on september 11th 2004. lol. 

5 years later, a lot has changed. chaaaaaaaaaange. change is fucking right barack obama, even tho i refused to vote for you. i could have never expected it to be this extreme. the only constant in my life left is my cat. i hope i didnt just jinx that. fuck. 
hot topic moved to a new location after 10 years there, and 6 years being employed, my best (and only) friend moved away, my other best friend became the biggest scumbag imaginable and is now an enemy, my gf of 2.5 years stole from me and my parents and is also now an enemy. succubus, i’ve pretty much stopped smoking pot, i have no savings, i finally have a tattoo, i live back at home with my parents and cant even consider moving out for about another year, im not, and dont want to go back to school, not all of those are negative, but i could argue pros and cons for all of them if i needed. thats what i do.
bottom line: im totally alone and it fuckin sucks. i need to re-develop the ability to be alone for massive amounts of time without it bothering me, while at the same time being productive. marijuana is a motivation murderer so ruling that out helped, but im still totally unmotivated to do any of the massive amounts of work i should want to complete. plus its gorgeous out and i’d love to have friends to go enjoy nice weather with but i dont. awesome. this is why i go to philly every opportunity possible. theres a group of people who enjoy going out and having fun. instead of just 1 or 2 around here. and i suck at making plans. also, in an effort to develop savings, i try to not go out often and just waste time here in my sticker covered box i call a bedroom. once i get into my room on this laptop, its hard to get me out. thank god i bought this laptop as a “merry xmas, happy new year, congratulations your single” present. idk wtf i’d be doing right now without this thing.
one of the reasons i made this blog- so i feel like im being remotely productive, and venting my angst at the same time. the easiest way to pass time for me is to keep watching the same hysterical movies i love. its free and wastes a lot of time. like right now. im watching walk hard: the dewey cox story. 
entertain me in rockland and ill be your best friend. seriously. 

poser-core

Posted in music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 25, 2009 by infantboner

my new favorite genre (sarcasm). when i got into music, i always liked it fast. then i discovered the happy fast wasnt as good as the angry fast. slipknot turned me onto blast beats with their song ‘eeyore’, which eventually led to suffocation (pure death metal) and the drummer of terror zone (paul) who i worked with at tapeville usa in 2002 turned me onto hatebreed and other new york hardcore bands. im not much into nyhc anymore, but i should be because new music sucks. every . single. fucking. damned. band i can think of that ive ever liked even just a little has gotten blatantly worse with age. the # 12 looks like you is a prime example. they started off being some of the smartest, fastest, heaviest, most distorted, complicated music id ever heard. it took me years to be able to memorize their songs, and to this day i cant go a day without listening to them. ‘put on your rosey red glasses’ their first release from 2004 is by far my favorite album of all time. their new album, belongs on z100. the lyrics are very good and smart. the drums are amazing (courtesy of my somewhat friend jon karel whom i see often in nyack) but other than that, the vocals are soft like the backstreet boys, and the guitar/bass licks are just plain boring and the furthest thing from technical. and i love technical. not to mention theres not one breakdown on the entire cd and is the furthest thing from fast. totally not exciting. even to fans of softer rock, they dont see anything interesting about it. epic fail. 2/6 of the original members left. one singer down, one guitarist down, bassist replaced, better drummer, yet worse music. 

heres some more bands that should be embarassed by their newer releases: 

sky eats airplane (never really liked them too much, but some of their heaviness was incomparable. and they had cool, perfectly mastered 8 bit parts. now theyre typical pop-rock-core with no songs that stand out above the rest)

daughters (i still love ‘hell songs’ but it took a while to adapt to it, considering theyre the messiest, most complicated band on earth. now he sounds like the guy from danzig, but drunker. he was always like that live, the the new cd is devoid of screaming whatsoever. so sad)

job for a cowboy (new cd has no pig squeals. nuff said. totally boring generic death metal that sounds like a cannibal corpse cd)

bury your dead (new band members, new level of suckitude. all their songs used to sound the same, but in a good way. they also pussied out and added bsb vocals way too often)

the locust (my favorite band of all time! their new cd is industrial digital noise. too much time wasted making literal digital feedback-ish noise instead of complicated guitar + bass + drums + screaming passionate music)

mindless self indulgence (new cd is 80s dance music. not as many taboo, sexual lyrics or fast ‘bounciness.’ also not very fast. way too catchy, radio-worthy music)

the acacia strain (had a very original bendy note thing going on during their first cd that made it easy to distinguish them out of a mix of hardcore/metal. new cd completely ruled that out and sounds just like everything else. indistinguishable anymore. they lost their only bit of individuality)

every time i die (burial plot -2000- is amazing, heavy, technical, true metal-core with dinosaur vocals. gutter phenomenon -2005- sounds like fucking coheed, and its all they play live. when i saw them recently, the singer even dissed their “shitty old hardcore songs” saying they “purposely learned how to forget them”. sorry, but i lost all respect for them after that and refuse to claim i like them or sport their merch. fucking posers)

all shall perish (first cd was awesome, legit, ‘death-core’. heavy as shit and non-stop double-bass relentlessness. now they added 50% softness and little girls like them. fuck off)

psyopus (still love this band. one of my favorites ever. but their new cd is a joke. they spent 20 minutes doing danny elfman like orchestra music. its impressive. to my dad. but i wanna hear their ridiculous guitar shredding and blast beats. they have the most ridiculous time signatures of any band ive ever heard, but they wasted 20 minutes on their cd creating tim burton movie music)

i could go on forever, but i wont. eventually i would like to get my own cd/music review site and criticize the shit out of all this terrible music coming out. hardcore just aint what it used to be. bands use open note chord breakdowns 90% of the time. chug chug chugga chugga chug chug. yawn. they all sound exactly the same. impossible to tell the different between after the burial, oceano, veil of maya, belay my last, a different breed of killer, white chapel, and hundreds more. it makes me very sad to see how dumbass little scene kids ruined heavy music. it was underground for a reason.

the thing i hate most is how bands go from such extremes ends to the opposite. literally they sound like the backstreet boys one minute, and then are growling and roaring with br00tal sick mosh breakdowns that make you want to step on tweens faces. (a day to remember, beneath the sky, as cities burn) i dont get it! pick a side. the fact that 60% of your album could be mistaken for the new kids on the block, completely cancels out any heaviness you’ve tried to achieve. your band and your music doesn’t exist because it cancels itself out. embarassing.

another thing i cant stand is how they waste time on their album with acoustic songs. every heavy band out there right now has at least one track of their cd devoted to a completely different type of music that makes no sense. acoustic, jazz, transcendental, blues, etc. they waste entire tracks on their albums sounding like music that my dad listens to. it makes no sense. its not like they play it live in between songs, its simply just wasting time on the cd. i dont understand. congratulations you can pig squeal and play the mandolin. i dont give an elephant shit. 

this is why i listen to grindcore and death metal. bands like insect warfare, dr. acula, shitstorm, see you next tuesday, fleshgrind,  cannibal corpse, never let up. they throw in some funny samples to pass time occasionally, and usually have under 1 minute long songs making 10 minute cds, but they stick to their guns (another shitty ass pop-core band) and stand by their passion for heavy music. all these “screamo” and “death-core” bands care more about their hair and the size of the gauges than making valid, reputable heavy music that will stand the test of time. cryptic slaughter was one of the first grind bands ever. they were around in the late 80’s. i got into them when i was about 15 and still love it. they had passion and didn’t care how many fans they had. they wanted to have fun and make music that was actually different than what was out there. they successfully took it up a notch. same with the locust. people hated them at first. they were laughed at. now, there are thousands of scene kids trying to make ‘cyber grind’ on myspace music who would kill to suck the locusts dick. they broke boundaries and will be remembered forever. despite how many people think they’re just yelling and making noise. i challenge you to figure out how to play a locust song. you cant. 

just wait til i start making music. no one will like it. but hopefully it will stand the test of time and in the future, people will appreciate what i’ve done. cross the line.

that being said, the ‘music’ category is going to be about my music. not other peoples. because all new music just keeps getting shittier and shittier and im sick of it (all). i listen to the most ridiculous music out there, and now i have to 1-up it. and based on some of the screaming i’ve recorded myself doing, i can. i just need to learn how to program drums in reason like agoraphobic nosebleed and either get decent at guitar again or find an awesome guitarist.

southland tales

Posted in life on April 24, 2009 by infantboner

is a very confusing movie. made by the same people who made donnie darko, but about the apocalypse, kinda. full of random ass celebrities like justin timberlake, will sasso, amy poehler and the rock. all ive gotten is a few funny parts, but overall i cant follow this for shit. i think they wanna kill the rock? not quite sure. 2.5 hour long movie. and im going to have to watch it again. sean william scott is god? what the FUCK is going on in this movie?

 

apparently there were some car fires in the underground parking of the palisades mall. how come exciting shit happens when im not working?  i worked til 430 and this happened at like 530. lame. i was bored doing nothing all day at work. would’ve loved some excitement, not to mention getting paid to stand outside the mall since it was evacuated on a beautiful day.

four twenty

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on April 20, 2009 by infantboner

most people think of me when they think of 4/20. most likely because i’ve been high since age 15. but considering the tremendous amount of trailer trash drama that i’ve been through (and continue going through) since 2009 has started, i am ruling pot out of my life. not completely, but majorly. i’ve already been doing this. kind of making it a weekend only thing, but even when i do smoke, it makes me nothing but tired, and then sad when i wake up. time goes quicker and there are fewer voices in my head when i don’t get high. is that weird? i think so. not to mention the fact that its a motivation murderer. anyways. today marks the day i start my band “infant boner” and this blog to go along with it. although, in honor of this ‘stoner holiday’ i am watching pineapple express, i am spitefully not getting high on 4/20/2009. my friends will probably be confused, but oh well. confusing people is something i love to do in life.